Our Little Miracle

I'm definitely eating a lot of words since I became a Father. All those aspects I worried about. The hesitations. The insecurities. The fear of the unknowns. All are seeming to dissipate as I transition into "daddy-ville" and bond with Oscar. I love his mannerism's. I can see a lot of myself in him. Not just some of the physical traits, but also the personalty traits as well. I love that he furrows his eyebrows and always looks "concerned." That has long been a trait of mine. I love how he smiles slightly out of one side of his mouth, a token Dan Craven smirk. And when he does smile, he sort of squints with one eye shut. I see myself in my boy in so many ways.

Words can't express how grateful I feel that Holly and I get to be parents. I still have a hard time fathoming that he is in our lives. It's so new still, but almost like he's always been with us.

And I continue to marvel at women in general. Those that choose to have children and are willing to put their bodies through so much to bring life into this world. I told myself I didn't want to watch all that labor & delivery with Holly. But jumped right in and assisted the doctor's and nurses. I was so proud of Holly for what she did for Oscar. I'm all teary typing this again, but I continue to marvel and the miracle of childbirth and am honestly amazed that every woman does not die in childbirth and that any children come out of the birth canal alive. Regardless of my dramatic choice in words, our own family miracle has happened. Holly and I have created life, and are being entrusted with a spirit to raise. And we get the opportunity to teach & train Oscar to stand on his own two feet in life. And love this little son of ours to pieces.

So yes, I continue to eat my words about not wanting to be a parent. Not wanting to have kids. I love this boy to pieces, and look forward to the day where Oscar can have a sibling of his own to grow up with.

I love you Holly. You are already, and will always be a compassionate, gentle, loving, nurturing and amazing Mother to our children.